Well it happened. Last night at about 3:30am I was eating a large fries with ketchup all over them from McDonald's and damn they were delicious. No, Hany didn't tell me to and I know the show is only a week and a half away but I just couldn't resist....then I woke up in a panic!!!!! I thought "OMG I just F**kin ruined my whole prep! What was I thinking!!" That’s right, I said I woke up, I can't believe it, I am dreaming of food to the point that I thought I was cheating and it was all just a dream.
I remember back in 2003 getting ready for my first nationals and having to diet for 22 weeks because I was on the “see-food” diet all year. I lost 80lbs that year and went on stage at 206lbs, luckily I was shredded and qualified for the following year but that 22 weeks really took its toll on me mentally. I remember feeling exactly the way I do now, I was dreaming of food. I'm at the point in this prep where everything taste great just because I'm so hungry, I hate fish but right now I look forward to it just so I can eat!!
I have rerouted my trips to the gym to try to avoid as many fast food places as possible, I change the channel or turn my head and do something else when food commercials are on t.v. and today I made a friend of mine change the channel on the cardio theatre because someone left it on the FOOD NETWORK! Ok, I think you all got the picture, I'm hungry…lol. Anyway, other than that I realize it doesn't matter if I'm hungry or not, there is only one task at hand here and that is showing up at the FLEX at my best ever.
Once I have done that I can be satisfied with myself knowing I gave it my all and never wavered from the plan in any way. I have been working with Alvin Brown (look him up on FB) in the physiotherapy area of my prep as well as the mental focus of my prep. See, Alvin has a Psychology Degree as well as being an Osteopath so I can work body and mind. I know you laugh and say oh he's seeing a shrink but sports psychology is no joke, just ask my girlfriend. This prep I have been able to think clearer about the show and not let any other crap enter my mind, not letting myself get stressed out or taken off course.
The reason I brought Alvin up is we had a good talk the other day about competing and how when things get tough you have to push through to be true to yourself. One thing I didn't realize was this show and this struggle is not just about the FLEX, but it’s about my life in general. We all have struggles in our lives and these are things we need to conquer if we're ever going to be successful in our lifetime. It really hit me as we were talking and I figured out that if I don't come in at my best or at least give it my best, I am not only letting myself down for this show but I am going to take the easy way out from here on in when it comes to anything.
People either fight or flight when it comes to struggle, more often than not its flight. That’s why so many of us have meaningless jobs that we just plug away at because somewhere along the line we gave up on something somewhere. Giving up is not an option for m;, cheating, not training my hardest, not doing extras, these are all forms of giving up and I can't do it. I don't want to think the next time in my life something tough comes along that I can just half ass it. I want to know that I can dig deep, take it head on and as Alvin says "Go through the fire!"
It all comes down to this: I am almost a week out from the show. I'm starving, moody, isolated but continue to push through barriers. When my body says "oh just rest you look great your already in shape," my mind says "get off your ass and get in better shape!" See, one of the other things I realized in talking through this was this show isn't just about me. I have a support system that I talked about in a previous blog and they are all counting on me. Even bigger than that are the people I don't know.
That’s right, the people I don't know, the people that send me numerous emails in support or the ones that are always on FB giving their time; they are all counting on me to do my best. Being from Canada, I know a lot of bodybuilders feel like it’s impossible to break into the IFBB and do well and I think I have shown a new crop of bodybuilders that it can be done. I hear more and more young guys in the gym talking about being pros one day because they know if I did it they can do it too! This show is not just about me. I need to come in at my best and I owe all the people who are my supporters and young guys looking up to me to bring my best package.
Thank you all for being there for me, without you who read my blogs, watch my videos, send your emails and even post little things on the boards here and there, this wouldn't be as satisfying as it is. I want to bring you all along for the ride and that’s why I write my blogs and that’s why I like to stay in touch. We are all going to the top one step at a time....ABIAD's ARMY is coming! Sacrifice Without Regret, Fouad 'Hoss' Abiad